The content of the article:
- Autohoroscope from 2 to 8 July
- Aries
- Taurus
- Twins
- Cancer
- a lion
- Virgo
- scales
- Scorpion
- Sagittarius
- Capricorn
- Aquarius
- Fishes
This week will appeal to drivers, pedestrians, and patrol guys. Why should we share? The road is common - roll yourself, admire the greenery, pay fines and fight with the brake bipeds. All people are cheerful and happy and no one pays attention to the road showdown and the high cost of gasoline. After all, the main holiday falls on July Tuesday - the Day of the Traffic Police. The patrol cars sparkle like new, and the traffic cops themselves try not to catch the eyes of the traffic participants - they have already been outlined. There are wands lying derelict at the guardhouses, and caps are hanging on the trees. Even the traffic lights began to dance, and blinked not yellow-red-green, but purple - they say, everything is on a drum.
Auto horoscope from 2 to 8 July
Aries
Aries, buses, trolleybuses, trams and cars, and everyone is going somewhere, the tires rustle softly. The stars are in the mood for cars, and the drivers from the Milky Way wish you a happy road. If you are haunted by the sounds of the opera everywhere (even if the radio is off, and there is not a soul around), do not be alarmed, this is not a glitch. But Christoph Gluck's fans are just celebrating his birthday. The Austrian composer left behind many amazing musical masterpieces (even the traffic cops become kinder after listening to the opera Orpheus and Eurydice). But do not turn on ballet music next to the patrol guys - you must admit that traffic cops in tight suits will look ridiculous.
Taurus
Taurus, during this July period the tracks are overloaded, but you will manage to get ahead - you can go to the warm sea, or put the car in the garage and go on a bike ride along the Golden Ring (or whatever rings are there in your region). And most importantly, don't forget about the alarm. Car thieves are especially active and resourceful in summer. This week, the hijackers generally look like a dandy - it feels like they just stepped out of the filming of Fashion Verdict. It is understandable, thieves are cultural today - the guys celebrate the birthday of Pierre Cardin. There is no need to explain, because even the car knows this great fashion designer (the car hopes to get fashionable covers with the inscription: from Cardin).
Twins
Gemini, buy a concentration-boosting fragrance and let your car smell like pine needles or juniper - you need to drive carefully and slowly this July. Although there will be no problems with slowness - a maximum of 10 km per hour, and even then, if you are lucky and the traffic jam will be short. Just in case, scatter coffee beans around the cabin - if you don't have time to stop by the cafe, at least smell and cheer up (so long as the hungry passengers don't gnaw everything). And do not give a lift to strange ladies with enthusiastic eyes - women celebrate Tom Cruise's birthday and do not remember themselves for joy. Even road butterflies are dressed up - even now on the podium.
Cancer
Cancers, you all drive and drive, drive and drive, and there is no end in sight. Also, plates were scattered everywhere, and little green men were running around, dazzling in their eyes. If only they would sit quietly at the traffic light and not shock the motorists. These are not guys with a deep hangover - the people are celebrating World UFO Day. The abbreviation does not stand for "Our Best Run" and not "Niva Lada Bypass", but "Unidentified Flying Object". I wonder if there are standing objects that cannot be identified? It seems that you passed something similar - there still flashed a cap, and a striped wand. In general, move in the right direction and enjoy the July days - summer will pass, as always, quickly and imperceptibly, and you need to seize the moment.
A lion
Lions, July has begun, and with it the problems have begun. Pedestrians have become more active and are scampering over zebras back and forth. Maybe they forget something, or they just run across the road from an excess of energy and immediately come back. The old women, on the contrary, have calmed down - work every day in the country, and even in this heat. And grandmothers are not visible because of the bunches of dill, onions and radishes. But we are not talking about them - among the traffic cops there are March Hares and White Rabbits. With this, everything is clear - 153 years ago, the first edition of the book "Alice in Wonderland" was published. Warn your horse about possible oddities - let it not growl and rush into the distance if it is stopped by a patrolling Cheshire cat (it has no pockets, and there is nowhere to add fines).
Virgo
Virgo, the cabin of your car is noisy, fun and crowded - and where do you get such talkative and positive passengers? Drive your fellow travelers further, because it is undesirable to travel alone on these July days. Firstly, it is boring, and secondly, it is dangerous - now the hijackers, now the robbers, now the stophams. And do not look at the roadside, otherwise you will be distracted and forget about everything in the world. Girls in bikinis are wandering everywhere - maybe there is some kind of competition or just hot, so the women undressed. In fact, they are celebrating the birthday of the bikini - these swimwear appeared 72 years ago. The authorities are aware of this holiday - gasoline prices have increased in order to rob us to the skin (after all, a bikini is two narrow stripes of fabric).
Scales
Scales, oh, track, track - why are you so long, winding and clumsy. As if someone big decided to arrange laundry and threw a huge washboard (remember, there used to be such wavy things, maybe somewhere in the garage and are still lying around). The average speed on these July days will be 30 km per hour - not enough, but no surprises. You can even hold on to the steering wheel with one handle while combing, picking your nose or typing on your phone with the other. But this is so, a small digression from the topic, and the rules still need to be followed. And miss the bowing people in bright clothes at the crossing - they are celebrating the birthday of the Dalai Lama (there is a lot to learn from the Buddhist spiritual leader).
Scorpion
Scorpions, the wipers are working, the windows are opening, the trunk is filled with useful things - that is, you are all right, and even the technical inspection has been passed. It remains to check the contents of the first-aid kit according to the list, and you can hit the road. But do not slow down near the traffic police posts (unless, of course, you are asked about it). Traffic cops in this summer period stand in pairs - next to each patrol guy there is a cute lady: a wife, a friend, or just a local beauty tired of work. The guys decided to celebrate the day of kissing and found objects for themselves in advance. You can also go home for your soul mate - and go for a ride, and congratulate you on the holiday (but do not kiss while driving).
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, our roads have two characteristics - terrible and very terrible. But you are lucky these summer days - it feels like you are in a fairy tale and are rolling along perfectly smooth tracks, overtaking steep cars and dousing them with exhaust gases. You can calculate the road a thousand meters ahead - if all the drivers were so smart, the traffic cops would be left without work (and without money). By the way, try to drive with closed windows - it is hot, of course, but no one will pour it out from the spray. People celebrate Ivan Kupala and rush along the roads and sidewalks with bottles, jars and cans. The patrol guys arrive more often than the others - they stand wet, disheveled, but happy.
Capricorn
Capricorns, pay the tax on your iron horse and ride safely. Or restless - it's up to you to decide. In general, this summer week will be good, and the roads are quite decent, a couple of holes and three of potholes do not count. And carry more rags with you - an invasion of pigeons is expected at the end of July, and the cars will be decorated with white blots.The birds are celebrating the day of Russian mail and decided to earn some money (you can send a letter, everything will be faster). But on long journeys, the stars are advised to go by train - lie on your shelf, sip seagulls, and do crosswords. No traffic cops, no traffic jams. True, you cannot smoke, and the smell from other people's socks does not let you sleep - but these are trifles.
Aquarius
Aquarians, corks are different - automobile, from beer bottles, from an expansion tank. Here you need to pay attention to the corks from the tank - the stars will not load you with terminology and talk about fans, fittings and such small springs that periodically rust. Roll up to service and you will be fine. And try not to be surprised when you see dentists and welders in the same company. The guys celebrate the birthday of Nikolai Benardos. In his student years, he invented a dental filling made of silver, and as an adult, he invented a unique method of electric arc welding. It is a pity that now there are not enough such people - and no one knows how to improve the quality of roads.
Fishes
Fish, bushings, racks, pads - the uninitiated will be dizzy with these incomprehensible words. But there is nothing to scare you - wake up in the middle of the night, and you will tell what your car is made of. Well done, the iron horse appreciates this attitude, and carries you with joy and pleasure. True, this summer week the wheelbarrow became somewhat depressed and even alarmed. Still here to stay calm - behind the bushes in these July days are hiding not only traffic cops, but also men with guns. The people celebrate the day of Methodius the Sparrowhawk, and the hunters try to shoot at least one quail. But why sit near the roads, and even jump out with loud shouts - they will stutter.
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